Some guidelines:
- Any submissions that are racist, misogynist, sexist, etc. will be immediately deleted without discussion.
- Be clever and humorous
- If you made up the humour yourself, put (original) at the end.
- If you submit one you searched for, then put (found) after it. Originals will be given more weight in the final decision but found humour could still win.
Eventually, a winner will be named, and eventually a virus-free set of used Rolls Royce overalls will be theirs.
I think we all agree that there is nothing funny about COVID-19, but maybe humour will help us cope in some way.
- David N.
12 comments:
As you may know, some governments are urging car parts manufacturers to step up to the challenge of helping to supply much needed medical equipment as new COVID-19 cases threaten to overwhelm hospitals.
A woman shared a photo on FaceBook of her infected husband lying in a bed in a British hospital. I noticed that beside the bed, there was a ventilator clearly marked ‘LUCAS’. I said to myself, “Good luck!”
(Original)
While out running every day, I'm seeing many more people out, especially family groups. During my occasional trips to the hardware stores I've noticed that they are busy. A few of my friends who work at Home Depot tell me that it's been unusually busy. I can see why. At least here in Freddy, all the military and government workers are still getting paid but have a lot more time on their hands. With spring coming it's a perfect time to get some house projects done.
So the joke I like to tell folks in my neighbourhood is that when this is over we'll all be in better shape, our houses will be much nicer, and we'll all have really clean butts.
And ya, that's original.
Bob E.
I like it, Bob. "...and we'll all have really clean butts"!
I saw that in the US the government is asking GM and Ford to gear up to make ventilators. Tesla has already made and supplied some...my first thought was |"Jeeze, I hope I don't get a Ford one"
I know I've already mentioned this in my Recent Coronavirus Travel report but I think it's one of those creative things that people do in times of need so I'll report the event here:
"When we finally made it to Houlton Maine we stopped for lunch in a gas station parking lot. We noticed a parked Ford pick up that was beckoning 3 or 4 other vehicles just entering the parking lot. They all parked alongside one another and proceeded, we think to celebrate someone's birthday, without getting out of their vehicles! One of them used one of those arm extensions that people use to grasp glasses from high shelves, to pass things between the vehicles. This shows that some people are getting the message to reduce their social contact. That was encouraging".
Thanks
Gary
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Lorraine and I were part of the mass exodus of Canadians racing from Florida for the relative safety of our border last week. Near the end of the first day after about 13 hours of driving my oil pressure indicator came on. Stopping at the first gas station I added a quart of oil. When putting the oil filler cap back on it slipped and fell into the engine bay. Subaru outbacks have enclosed engine bays and the cap stayed on the bottom panel below the engine. That required crawling under the car and reaching through a small inspection hole for the cap. Not everyone might know this but the exhaust manifold on a car that has driven at highway speed for 13 hours is about the same temperature as the surface of the sun. Seven small and painful burns later my fingers retrieved the errant oil cap. Now the I 95 was stopped as occasionally happens for no apparent reason. Cleverly I took a detour on a 2-lane road through the country side. And I met a very nice state trooper who explained that 69 miles per hour is not the same as the posted 55 mph. Apparently it is not even close. Fortunately I only received a warning citation, perhaps because I was Canadian and I had tears in my eyes from my burnt hand. Fortunately the next 2 days were uneventful.
Are you running out of ideas and things to do while staying at home. I have the solution. Put 6 eggs into a pan of water turn the heat to full and walk away in approximately 15 minutes you will hear six loud explosions as the eggs blast themselves all over the kitchen floors the walls and important the ceilings. You now have two hours work to clean up the mess and if you are really lucky like I was, washing the egg off the ceiling will also remove the paint thereby requiring you to paint the ceiling as well. A full day's work I had not planned for.
True and original
Kelvin.
Kelvin! That's TERRIBLE!!! Did you utter a word or two as you stepped into the kitchen?!
Yes David I never stopped cussing and swearing for at least a minute with some words I haven't used in years!!! Ha ha.
Kelvin says
Alcohol wipes and hand sanitizer kills corona virus so my answer-------- drink a bottle of scotch a week.
My neighbor has just been told her car needs a new computer at $740 . Her car is a Toyota and it has the Corolla virus.. KP
Kelvin, fabulous story. I can imagine the mess, having once exploded an egg in the microwave.
Johanna and Bruce, doing well in Smithfield
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